My first sponsor, Jerry B. watched me from a distance killing myself slowly with drink. Jerry was a general contractor who I subbed work from. I had offered him a drink(beer) many times around the job, and he always politely refused and said he didn't drink. I thought that to be OK because that meant more for me. Well, when I hit my bottom, he was right there to disclose his membership in the program. This was crucial in my recovery, as I trusted nobody, so he took it upon himself to nudge me along and sponsor me. I was a mess and he was taking on a big load! As time went by, my adjustment to my new found freedom and happiness trudged along... At about 10 months my wife left me for greener pastures, but Jerry was there for me. Unfortunately Jerry was having his own problems at home with his wife. We were pretty much attached at the hip, going to meetings everywhere, everyday. Then, as I walked into a meeting right after work(to chair), I was told that Jerry had taken his own life the night before. He was only 30 yrs old w/ 4 yrs sober. I soon found out that Jerry was going to go back out, so instead, he left us by his own hand. That's how insane this disease can be. Shortly after Jerry's death, I got 1yr. At my B-day celebration, Jerry's wife came and gave me his 1st year chip. I carry that chip everyday! I have lost it a few times, but God always lets me find it. 5yrs later, I miss Jerry, but his chip, my sharing about him, and what he gave me, will never allow him to be forgotten. My name is Mike, I am an alcoholic, thanx for letting me share